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CANADA'S TROUBLING DIVORCE LAWS

Although Statistics Canada reports that 75.7% of children under 11 years of age live in a two-parent family with their biological parents, there are still far too many children experiencing serious problems due to the break-up of their parents' marriage.

No less than 69,088 couples divorced in 1998, breaking a ten-year trend in declining divorce rates by an increase in the divorce rate of 2.5%. It is hoped that this rise is only a one-time anomaly rather than the beginning of an upward trend, as clearly a high divorce rate has serious implications for society and especially, for children. Divorce may end the marriage and is a conclusion of the adult relationship, but for children, it is frequently the beginning of a serious disruption of their lives. The 1970's view that divorce is no big deal for children and that they will bounce back, just has not proven to be true.

In September 2000, a groundbreaking US study showed that divorce has lasting and permanent effects on the children. Dr. Judith Wallerstein of the University of California at Berkeley carried out this study. In this study, Dr. Wallerstein found that, surprisingly, children of divorce were most likely to be seriously affected by family break-up when in their 20s and 30s when they experience difficulty in forming intimate and lasting relationships of their own. In short, divorce has a "sleeper effect" on children that crops up after they are grown.

However, for those who are obliged to separate because of abuse, drugs and alcoholism, etc., it is not all gloomy as there are still actions that can be taken to protect their children. According to Dr. Wallerstein such parents should:

1. Stay strong. Child[ren] should be assured that they are not suddenly responsible for their parents' emotional well-being.
2. Provide continuity for the children, maintaining their usual schedule of activities. Try to keep them in the same playgroup, the same milieu, among familiar faces and accustomed scenes.
3. Never let your own search for new love preoccupy you at the children's expense.

One of the problems facing children where their mothers have custody may be the lack of a father's influence and input on a constant basis in their upbringing.

According to Dr. Kyle Pruett, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the Yale University Child Study Centre, fathers are vitally important to their children's lives. He points out in his book Fatherhood: Why Father Care is as essential as Mother Care for your Child (Free Press, New York, 2000), that both parents contribute to the healthy development of their children - differing most often in their disciplinary approach. Mothers generally emphasize the social and relational costs of misbehavior, whereas fathers tend to bluntly emphasize the practical consequences. Also, when parents split up, in Canada, in 87% of cases, children under 12 years remain with their mothers, while only 7% live with their fathers and 6% live in joint custody arrangements. The lack of a father's constant input in the raising of children by separated parents may well be one of the explanations for why such children often do less well on nearly every scale: A high rate of school drop-out, substance abuse, depression, early unwed pregnancies, etc., are cited as occurring far more frequently in single-parent families.

Moreover, most divorced women must also contend with serious financial woes. Statistics Canada's first-ever study, released in April 1997, on the financial impact of separation and divorce on families with children, found that one year after separating, women's after-tax income decreased by 23% in contrast to men's incomes which shot up 10% after separation or divorce. The reason for the economic woes of women is due to the fact that, on average, they earn less than men and, of course, in the vast majority of cases (87%), due to their having custody of the children, they are frequently limited in their availability for work.

Moreover, this financial squeeze for women seems to continue, even into old age. According to an interdisciplinary group study on aging carried out at the University of Western Ontario in London, Ontario, under the direction of Statistics Canada, released this year, it was shown that divorce interferes with the effectiveness of the informal family support network for women in their later years. In effect, the marriage break-up decreases the financial support women receive from their children later in life. Conversely, it also decreases the financial help a parent is able or willing to give an adult child. In short, divorce damages both the inter-family financial network as well as the emotional one.

Canada's Divorce Law

In view of the problems that arise from divorce, why are so many divorces taking place in Canada? The answer may well lie with our divorce laws.

Prior to 1968, the only ground for divorce was adultery. However, in 1968, the Divorce Act was amended to permit divorce for other reasons, including adultery, physical and mental cruelty and separation for at least 3 years. In 1986, the Divorce Act was further amended to permit divorce after one year's separation, with no requirement to prove "fault" by either spouse. This amendment led to an astronomical increase in the rate of divorce in Canada.

This no-fault divorce law was the inspiration of feminists who argued at that time that no-fault divorces would lead to a decrease in animosity, trauma and expense in divorce actions. How wrong this has proved to be! The only ones who have benefited from no-fault divorce are lawyers and accountants! Custody and finances are still the key sources of trouble in ending a marriage and the no-fault concept has done nothing to resolve these issues.

This no-fault choice has not only made it all too easy for spouses to walk away from a marriage, instead of trying to work through the stresses inevitable in every marriage, but has also, unfortunately emphasized personal happiness in marriage as a priority over responsibilities to spouse and children.

What Can Be Done?

Easy divorce undermines the stability of marriage and the family. Significantly, there is no convincing data in families where marital conflicts exist, that the children are more adversely affected by this conflict than by a separation or divorce.

It seems imperative, therefore, that our divorce law should be tightened. If marriages are more difficult to dissolve, then perhaps spouses will take their responsibilities to marriage more seriously. Further changes should include:

· Mandatory marriage preparation courses at school and church levels;
· A network of support systems for ailing marriages should be set up, including easily available and low-cost counselling. These services should be tax-deductible and government subsidized so as to be available to all families, regardless of their economic status.

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